Hello Darkness My Old Friend: Finding Light in Tech Careers with Tessa Kriesel

In this episode of Guidance Counselor 2.0, host Taylor Desseyn spoke with DevRel expert Tessa Kriesel about mental health, productivity, community, and finding your way back from isolation. Their conversation offers valuable insights for anyone navigating the tech industry's demands while trying to maintain balance and connection.

Emerging from the Darkness

The episode's title, "Hello Darkness My Old Friend," captures Tessa's journey over the past year. After being laid off from her previous position, she launched her own business, Build for Devs, but found herself working in isolation. What initially felt like a necessary grind became a pattern that disconnected her from the developer community she serves.

"I started a business and did that in complete darkness, thinking that I'm just going to grind, work really hard, do all these things and just sort of expect things to come," Tessa shared. "I think it was just a lot easier to isolate than it was to be out in the open."

The turning point came when she attended Commit Your Code, an event organized by Danny Thompson in Dallas. Being surrounded by developers again made her realize how much she had been missing that community connection. "I didn't realize how sad I was until I self-reflected and was like, I needed to spend time with developers."

This realization led Tessa to start her stream, "99 Dev Problems," in December. The regular interaction with the developer community has brought light back into her professional life: Suddenly I’m thinking, wait, is it bright outside again even though it's gloomy? Is my office shiny? Do I feel positive again?"

Taking Back Your Day (and Life)

A significant portion of the conversation focused on productivity strategies that help maintain balance. Tessa shared insights from a recent conversation with Tejas Kumar about dividing work into "offensive" and "defensive" tasks:

• Offensive tasks are passion projects and meaningful work that energize you

• Defensive tasks are necessary administrative duties like expense reports and emails

By categorizing work this way and dedicating focused time blocks (particularly 90-minute chunks for deep work), professionals can regain control over their schedules rather than being controlled by them.

Both Taylor and Tessa discussed their approaches to time management:

• Taylor follows a schedule with early mornings (5:30 AM wake-up) and tries to end meetings by 3:00-3:30 PM

• Tessa has implemented "No Meeting Wednesdays" when possible

• Both emphasized the importance of time blocking and actively protecting your calendar

They also touched on digital boundaries: reducing phone usage, removing distracting apps, and implementing "no screens" periods in the evening to enhance both productivity and personal relationships.

"It's like re-grabbing onto your life and building the life that you want," Tessa explained. "That was the whole point of starting my business - working for the companies I wanted. And then I sort of just let that go."

The Critical Importance of Community

Perhaps the most powerful theme throughout the conversation was the value of in-person community in the tech industry. Tessa challenged the stereotype that developers are antisocial:

"Developers aren't antisocial. We only want to hang out with our peers or people who get us," she emphasized. "We just don't want someone coming in and saying, 'Here's my pitch, here's my product, buy my stuff, join my thing.' We want there to be this authentic relationship."

While virtual connections can provide about "90%" of the community experience for those who work hard at it, Tessa noted that introverts who aren't willing to attend in-person events are likely to get even less from virtual interactions. The key is "putting yourself out there" in whatever form works best.

The conversation highlighted several ways to build community:

• Local meetups around specific tech interests

• Developer-curated channels where peers can share knowledge

• Small gathering spaces that encourage authentic interaction

• Cross-industry opportunities, like bringing tech knowledge to agricultural communities

Taylor shared an anecdote about someone wanting to start a "Nashville Dev hamburger meetup," emphasizing that community building starts simply: "Just start. You'll probably have one other person show up for a long time. But just stay at it."

Reimagining Work Environments

The conversation also challenged conventional thinking about return-to-office mandates. Both took a strong stance against rigid RTO policies while advocating for thoughtfully designed opportunities for teams to connect in person.

Tessa shared a powerful story about how remote work allowed her to witness her toddler's first experience with snow: "If I had to drive to Austin or Dallas or an office, I would have missed the first time my kid played with snow, and no company in the world is worth that to me."

Instead of forcing attendance, they suggested companies could:

• Create optional spaces for collaboration

• Organize periodic team gatherings where people can connect meaningfully

• Consider offering on-site childcare to make office attendance more appealing

• Provide lunch stipends or healthy food options

• Focus on employees' actual needs rather than control

"If you want to have employees around, do it around the employee," Tessa explained. "If someone doesn't have kids, let them be your office culture. If someone wants to go home early because they want to pick their kid up from daycare every day, great—they're still going to be on the computer, they're still going to do their job. It's just around the life that they want, which will make them happier."

Finding Your Path in Tech

As the conversation drew to a close, Tessa shared her personal goals for 2025, including expanding her business to hire a head of DevRel and a head of community, as well as potentially moving toward agricultural technology in the future.

When asked what career advice she would give her younger self, her answer transcended specific industry guidance: "We're here for a second, literally a microsecond in comparison to what Earth is, in comparison to what everything around us is. Stop sweating the little stuff. Put all of my energy into my faith and being able to not worry, not get all caught up in what are the Joneses doing, what is someone else doing, and just really hyper-focus on: what is your dream? What do you want to do? And don't let anyone get in your way."

This wisdom encapsulates the broader themes of the conversation—finding your authentic path, prioritizing meaningful connections, and creating a life and career that align with your values rather than external expectations.

Final Thoughts

The conversation between Taylor and Tessa provides valuable insights for anyone navigating their career in technology. Beyond specific tactics for productivity or networking, their discussion highlights the fundamentally human aspects of professional life: our need for community, purpose, and balance.

As the tech industry continues to evolve and reshape how we work, these core principles remain essential guides. Whether you're running your own business, working remotely for a large corporation, or considering a career change, investing in authentic community and intentionally designing your life around your values will help ensure you stay in the light rather than drifting into isolation.

This blog post summarizes insights from Guidance Counselor 2.0, a live streaming show hosted by Taylor Desseyn that explores career development in the tech industry. Find the full video of the episode and more here: Hello Darkness My Old Friend w/DevRel Expert, Tessa Kriesel